Elfnoodles

I first heard about “infant potty training”[1] from a co-worker, back when I was still pregnant. She had some friends who had done it mostly because they had spent some time in New Guinea on a research trip and learned it from the people there. I’d never heard of such a thing, but it seemed logical – as she pointed out, most traditional cultures would not have had the resources to constantly wash diapers, and anyway, she added, not even babies are comfortable with a load in their pants.

In fact, I found out later that hardly anyone used diapers through toddlerhood until the last few decades, when disposables caught on, and then only in the countries where people could readily afford them.

But, not having anyone else to learn infant potty training from, I looked it up and found books about it. The one we have is The Diaper-Free Baby, although there are others, depending on your stylistic tastes. I chose this one using the “Look inside” feature on Amazon to read excerpts. I suspect they all cover more-or-less the same material. It isn’t rocket science. In fact, much of the space in the books seems to be devoted to quoting parents’ positive experiences so that you feel supported in trying IPT even if everyone you personally know thinks you’re nuts (or worse). Basically, you use audible cues when the baby is going, and the baby learns to associate these with the activity. Then, when holding him over a bowl, sink, potty, etc. you make the noise. There’s a lot of flexibility as to how much you try to do the IPT, as long as you always try to make the cues when you notice the baby is going. If you’re interested in trying it out, I still recommend reading a book – they go into a lot more detail about the process, as well as all the concerns and misconceptions you or your nosy family or co-workers may have.

The books also say you can start IPT with a newborn, holding them over a bowl to do their thing, but we weren’t comfortable attempting that since we felt so awkward trying to support his whole body and head all the time to begin with. So we waited, although I did the audible cues all along. But it seemed like the moment had come one evening a few weeks ago when I realized that I was sitting around waiting for a much less fragile Cory to poop in his diaper so that I could change it. We ordered a Babybjorn Little Potty[2].

The first time I put Cory on it, it was too unfamiliar to go over well, so we practiced sitting on it a few days with his diaper on and then tried it again without in the last couple of days. Believe it or not, he puts something in the potty more often than he doesn’t. Since I pick times when I know he usually has to go, like after a nap and after eating, and it’s a natural thing to do while squatting, I think the odds are pretty much in favor. But he’s also starting to become pleased with himself about it – he does know what he’s doing.

The goal of IPT is not to force the baby to potty train earlier than he should out of some misguided desire to have an advanced genius baby, like critics of it seem to assume. Nor is it because we’re cheapskates who want to save money on diapers at the expense of Cory’s well-being. It’s because babies have far more bodily awareness than people generally give them credit for, and they’re more comfortable going in a potty when they can. It’s also important to realize that there’s none of the pressure or fighting that people associate with potty-training a 2-year-old. I give him the chance to go in the potty, and he does or doesn’t. I don’t act disappointed if he doesn’t, or if I have to change a diaper. But he’s learning that going in the potty is as normal as going in his diaper. By waiting until kids are toddlers to try it, what the usual method does is teach them to go in their pants for a few years and then suddenly expect them to unlearn that and do something else entirely – and at an age when they are particularly eager to demonstrate that they don’t have to do everything mom and dad say.

What I think will probably happen with Cory is that over time, he’ll do more and more of his business in the potty, simply because it’s more comfortable. But we’ll see.

Notes:

[1] “Infant potty training,” AKA “IPT,” AKA “Elimination Communication” or “EC.” It’s not caught on much yet but is mostly practiced by BF’ers (breastfeeders)[3] who CD (cloth diaper) with their AIOs (all-in-ones). I wish I were making this up but the parenting crowds all seem to have this disturbing obsession with initialisms, sort of like they secretly wish they worked for the government, like maybe the DOD or the ROFLMAO.

[2] The “Little Potty” is indeed very little. While universally admired by IPT parents, parents doing potty training with a 2 or 3-year-old almost always find it way too small to use except as backup. The marketing copy could be a lot more helpful on this. Even the manufacturer’s Web site doesn’t give you much guidance.

[3] One might notice that “bottlefeeding” would also be abbreviated “BF,” but “BF” stands for breastfeeding specifically as opposed to bottlefeeding, dammit.